Note: This column is satirical.
In today’s world everything is possible. Technology has become so advanced and communication, so rapid it seems even the most outlandish ideas can become a reality. Old fairy tales and impossible feats are brought to life right before our eyes, and it’s our duty to sit back and enjoy them.
Everyone knows the popular story of “The Return of the King.” Originally written by J. R. R. Tolkien in 1955 as the third installment to The Lord of The Rings series, the story is a fantasy tale about a man who must fulfill his destiny and retake his rightful throne to save the kingdom.
Although the story seems to have been bred for Hollywood and the big screen, one basketball superstar commonly referred to as “King James” is returning home and making the fairy tale very real.
LeBron James is the best basketball player in the world, partly the reason why any news about him is elevated into a storyline. Starting his career in his native Cleveland, James struggled with being an incredible talent on a less-than-incredible team, not winning a single championship in the seven seasons he played there.
Then, the King made a grueling decision to leave his kingdom in search of championships. Although the people of Cleveland were heartbroken and furious, James knew there was no other way to achieve his dream.
After four years and two championships with the Miami Heat, King James was again looking for a place to take his talents. From the east to the west, kingdoms lined up to show James why he should join them, but only one kingdom stroke his fancy.
In an epic move, the King returned home with new championship rings on his fingers and wisdom in his mind. The fairy tale became real and LeBron is back in Cleveland, but only time will tell if it’s for good.
Similar to LeBron’s fairy tale story is some unexpected and simply unreal news coming out of the U.S. Marine Corps. It involves a huge vehicle that can carry troops, tanks and equipment across the water. No, it’s not a boat. It’s being called the Ultra Heavy-lift Amphibious Connector (UHAC), and it’s basically the craziest thing ever invented for water travel.
Like a tank, it has tracks on both sides that push it forward, but these tracks are made out of some fairy tale foam. In the water the foam extends like flippers and propels the vehicle forward, but on land the foam flattens and it becomes much more like a traditional tank or bulldozer track.
The vehicle is the first of its kind, and it’s creating a whole new spectrum of possibility for the armed forces. Some describe it as something out of a sci-fi book, while others say it’s just a hell of a lot of taxpayer dollars.
One thing is certain: like LeBron James’ story, the UHAC proves that the boundary of real and fake can be bent and even broken. Fairy tales exist all around us, we just have to look hard enough.
Collegian Believe with Steve columnist Steven Jacobs can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.