Based on the Ramtalk:
“That moment when you fall asleep on your laptop and your face types 570 pages…. D:”
The middle of spring semester is a treacherous time. Teachers are assigning papers and projects left and right and students are crowding the library to get their studying in. Spring break can’t come fast enough.
Those select few students who have to write papers for midterms are searching for ways to get them done on time, and a new writing technique is enabling them to finish their papers faster than they ever could before. The technique has been referred to as “face writing” and “noggin logging,” and it’s as simple as falling asleep on your keyboard and letting your head do the typing.
It was first discovered by sophomore harmonica major Ronathan Swanson when he fell asleep while writing a lab report for organic chemistry.
“I was just beginning to describe the molecularization of organic particles when I fell asleep out of boredom,” Swanson said. “I woke up with the shapes of keyboard keys carved into my face, but my paper was completely finished!”
The “noggin logging” technique doesn’t only work for lab reports. Students have passed out in front of their computers for English papers, journalism columns and business analyses.
Some believe that the different shapes of their craniums result in different writing styles like metaphors, humor and sarcasm, and early research into “noggin logging” shows that nightmares can cause student’s papers to be very deep and dark.
While creative writing professors have truly enjoyed their student’s papers that were written while sleeping, more formal English professors refuse to accept them.
“I can’t believe this,” said Andrew Dwyer, professor of logical writing. “Why can’t students go back to metaphorically using their heads to write papers and stop literally using their heads?”
Although we don’t know what the future holds for this trailblazing writing style, we do know that the library will be very quiet these next few weeks with students sleeping on their keyboards.
Collegian Entertainment Reporter Steven Jacobs can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.