There’s something about the gym at CSU that brings out the inner annoying in people. No matter how hard you try not to judge, people there are just so crazy it can’t be ignored. You can joke all you want, but you know you see these things at the gym. Chances are, you even do some of them.
1. Basketball gatherings
Usually there’s an average of 1.45 people at each basket and then the next thing you know there are 12 guys starting a game of shirts vs. skins. If girls always go to the bathroom in packs, then guys always go to the gym in packs.
2. Girls who aren’t wearing enough clothes
Yes, there are tight clothes designed to enhance performance when working out, but is it really necessary to wear booty shorts to the gym? That is the one place where it is socially acceptable, no, expected, for people to look ugly, gross and sweaty.
3. Old people that you don’t know how they got in
Not to discourage physical fitness if you’re over the hill, but how did you get in here? It’s the CSU gym, not the Fort Collins gym. Aren’t you supposed to be a student to get in?
4. Rec Center Workers
They walk around in their yellow shirts with clipboards, but what are they doing? Rating people on their form? Giving out style points? Doodling and trying to look busy? No one knows.
5. Beats headphones
They keep you in the zone, man. Plus, they’re pretty cool and what better place to show off cool gadgets than the rec? But all jokes aside, they really do keep you in the zone.
6. Lockers with just a jacket in them.
When the only locker without a lock on it has a jacket in it, how acceptable is it to casually set the jacket on the bench? Why people feel a whole locker is necessary for one jacket is a mystery. Especially when that jacket isn’t even worth locking up. It’s like they’re asking for someone to steal it.
7. Guys walking around shaking their protein bottles instead of working out.
They spend the whole time walking around in their muscle shirts acting all tough but who actually sees them do anything requiring any energy? If you came here to work out, drink your gross-looking shake and get to work.
8. People standing on the track watching basketball
Yes, I know your friends are all down there playing an intense game of basketball and you need to pick who you want on your intramural team, but why don’t you go watch them play from the actual court? You’re getting in the way of those poor people trying to run endless circles on the track. Then again, maybe they appreciate you standing in their way so their endless circle running can have some exciting interruption.
9. The fit people who make working out look like a walk in the park.
They’ve got the bod, they know how to work all the machines and they actually focus on working out. They make the rest of us look bad and you can’t help but be jealous.
10. People who judge everyone else at the gym
They put people into the stereotypical categories like “girls who aren’t wearing enough clothes” or make assumptions about guys in muscle shirts. They spend so much time watching other people they forget to work out. They judge others when really the gym should be a judge-free zone. People there obviously know they aren’t perfect, that’s why they’re at the gym: to improve.
Collegian Entertainment Assistant Editor Amber Johnson can be reached at email@example.com.