Kayla Richerdson, a junior studying anthropology, was in the midst of difficult times. Several jobs and increasingly difficult classes were causing the CSU student to feel stressed and unappreciated.
“It was tough, but I was okay. But then I watched a tv show that ruined everything,” said Richerdson.
Richerdson was watching Parks and Rec one fateful night and heard characters talking about treating themselves.
“I heard Aziz Ansari say ‘Treat yo self’ and that was it,” said Richerdson.
The third-year student decided she would buy some new clothes to feel better. She stumbled upon some sexy pajamas and decided that would be the cure to her woes.
“They were kind of soft and lacy. I just felt really good in them, but it all happened so fast,” said Richerdson.
That evening, Richerdson wore her new pajamas in her apartment. While in a conversation with her two male roommates, she discovered the areola of her left breast was completely exposed. According to Richerdson, this was the worst moment of her life.
Her roommates were not entirely pleased with the situation either.
“I hardly know the person,” said Taylor Wix, who has been living with Richerdson since August. “I really wasn’t ready for that kind of intimacy.”
Wix said that he hopes to forget what he saw soon so that he can again look Richerdson in the eyes.
“I had imagined seeing that part of her before, just in a very different context,” said Jon Larmei, Richerdsen’s other roommate.
Who knew retail therapy could put you in therapy?
Collegian Satire Blogger Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick can be reached online at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter at @TatianaSophiaPT.
Disclaimer: Seriously is a satire blog, which may or may not use real names, often in semi-real or mostly fictitious ways. All articles from Seriously are creations of fiction, and presumably fake publications. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are fictitious events based on real people. Photos used do not have any connection to the story and are used within the rights of free reuse, as well as cited to the best of our ability. Seriously is intended for a mature, sophisticated, and discerning audience.