FORT COLLINS- Calling the move a “commitment to top-quality analysis of our analyzing strategies at Colorado State,” CSU President Tony Frank announced today the university’s formation of the Administrative Oversight of Advisory Committees Executive Review Board. According to Frank, the panel of newly-hired administrators will be tasked with reviewing the advisory work of other administrators that oversee the work of executives that monitor the work of managers that supervise advisory staff at CSU.
“Last year, it became clear to my colleagues and I that this university is wasting money in some areas, but we couldn’t figure out where,” Frank said. “However, I’m confident that this new team of administrators, the AOACERB, can work with our top executives in Oversight Panel Review Analysis and Management Monitoring Strategies to figure out exactly where we’re losing money.”
The announcement drew rave reviews from students on campus, who were reportedly thrilled to see their tuition spent on “anything but education”.
“I love bureaucratic crap like this,” Jackson Michaels, a freshman Child Engineering major said. “As an incoming student, it’s so comforting to know that the university will now have someone overseeing the work of my adviser’s adviser’s adviser’s adviser’s advisers. None of the other colleges I looked at offered this same level of reassurance!”
Collin Phillips, a senior Men’s Studies major, agreed.
“Finally the university is waking up to what students need,” Phillips said. “Take the money out of the classroom, and put it into administration where it belongs!”
Also in his announcement, Frank cited the increasing difficulty of thinking of unique names for new administrative bodies and reported the creation of the Committee Unity Naming Team to help the university come up with cool names and acronyms for future groups.
Collegian Assistant Opinion Editor and Columnist Sean Kennedy can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org or on Twitter @seanskenn.