“Huh—it’s not bad here,” Brian Freedman said.
Freedman is an undeclared freshman who has found the state of Colorado to far surpass his expectations.
That’s because he had no expectations.
“Honestly, I just came here for the weed,” Freedman said. “But, Colorado is actually pretty cool. You can hike and stuff. It’s just really great.”
Freedman’s parents had promised they would support Freedman after he moved out, as long as he stayed in school. With this in mind, Freedman decided he would either go to Colorado State University or Washington State University.
“A couple of bros told me that the mountains were dope, so I decided on CSU,” Freedman said. “It’s totally not bad here, I can vibe with Colo.”
Freedman’s roommate had the unique opportunity to witness his discovery. The two met when the Connecticut native moved in.
“We first met on move-on day and I just knew he was going to be pumped about the rest of Colorado,” said Freedman’s roommate. “He unrolled all his Bob Marley posters, stuck a couple mini frozen pizzas in the dorm fridge and started talking to me about my third eye and I just knew he had so much in store for him.”
At this point, Freedman is unsure what he wants to do with his career, but maintains that Colorado is the right place for him to figure it out.
“Have you been to Cheba Hut? That place is so funny man, oh my God. Classic,” said Freedman.
Collegian Satire Blogger Tatiana Parafiniuk-Talesnick can be reached online at firstname.lastname@example.org.