I would like to point out that the only “wrong” way to have sex is one lacking in consent. It is not a new or cutting-edge story to write about women being the subject of blame for sex becoming a more widely talked-about topic, or for chivalry being “dead.”
You are perpetuating hetero-normative and patriarchal values that not everyone lives their life according to. Women becoming part of the conversation of sex, consent and romance is a good thing, since they are the ones who get an equal say in how, when, where and with whom they want to have sex.
If an individual wants to wait until they commit themselves to a person(s) (since not everyone has the right to marry) before they have sex, then go for it. It is also okay for someone to have sex with multiple people, on the first date, before a date, with themselves, or with no one at all. Why is that? Each individual has liberty over their own body.
Consent is not a concept that is all-of-a-sudden needed in society due to the change in culture of sex. Consent has never been “unnecessary.” Rather, it has previously been ignored. With the increase in dialogue that includes the voice of women and all other genders regarding their own body, the culture of sex has indeed changed to be more inclusive and an experience to be owned by the individual.
This is not a negative movement – I refute the idea that to solve any problem that dialogue should end.
You are absolutely correct with the notion that the culture of sex has changed and some of that has not been positive. However, I would not attribute that to women becoming as open and honest about sexuality as men have been privilege to in the past. It is due to the over-sexualization of women and girls in media, perpetuating overt masculinity on how men are supposed to view sex and an increase in porn culture.
Chivalry and romance are not “dead” because of women. It is less common because of the realization that men do not need to be the protector or breadwinner, and women are not helpless or a prize to be won.
I disagree with these societal expectations; it maintains the assumption that all genders must abide by the roles that society subjugate them to and that all of your readers are heterosexual, monogamous and fall into the gender binary.
Also, equating women to a “mysterious creature to uncover one layer of clothing at a time” is not only insulting, but it is taking women out of the conversation of sex and is slut-shaming. If I am going to be compared to a unicorn in your eyes, I will be the one dressing, undressing or wearing as little or as much clothing at my discretion.
I am not a mystery to be marveled at — a socially constructed, sexy yet unattainable, mystery. I am a human being with a right over my own body and sexuality, just like any other human being.
Collegian Guest Columnist Haley Wilson is a fourth year biology and psychology major and can be reached at firstname.lastname@example.org.